There's A Stanger In My House
May 27, 2004

So yesterday I had to travel to Cleveland for the day to do training on a customer's new vendor web portal. I hate traveling for just the day. Its so damn tiring and time consuming. So when I arrived I found out that the customer requested us (myself and a sales team member) to go to lunch with her and her son. Her son had no clue we were coming and looked surprised but not so surprised considering how his mother is. It was sorta weird because they were talking about personal family things in front of us. Shortly after the crab ragoon and potsticker apps were finished (which he ate the last of without even offering anyone else the last one which I thought was rude even if I did not want it, common courtesy son!) he came to find our how much we really knew about his life from his mother. I tried to watch his facial expressions to see how he was reacting to all the facts we were reciting about his life, his wedding, his brother, his hopes and dreams. All this just to impress his mother, so she knows that as her reps "we always are listening". I couldn't get a clear reading from her son's face once we displayed on our inane capabilities to retrieve and memorize customer's family secrets. (Then I started to think what must my mother (the Bird) must be telling perfect strangers?) Anyhow, our customer proceeded to tell us that his wife, her new daughter-in-law, is this teeny-tiny, petite (non-giant Chicagoan like ourselves) type woman but wears these giant platform shoes all the time. Then she said her daughter-in-law told her she wanted to start wearing more dainty, pretty, feminine shoes. So our customer's resolution to his wife's shoe dilemma was to buy her a pair of Steve Madden shoes for her birthday and to present her with this wonderful gift of shoes at their cousin's upcoming birthday party this Saturday, even though her birthday was not until July, so her teeny-tiny daughter-in-law could get ample use out of these amazingly feminine, versatile, everyday, lovely, magic shoes all summer long. Oh my god. The poor girl. While I am sure they are great shoes, and I love Steve Madden shoes, I would be embarrassed. I mean your mother-in-law is trying to help you choose shoes because you are such a retard who can't shop. While she herself is wearing beige spandex sandals with her all black outfit. I am sure his wife is as cute as a button too because her son was cute. And while I know you are probably thinking, "Oh she means well", which I am sure she does, my point is that we have our own mother's to pick on our appearances, don't we? We don't need anymore critcism and public humiliation. Pallleeaase!

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